Here's a vegetable for you.

I've broken 38". Now 37" is the number to beat. I've been eating a lot of celery instead of entire boxes of crackers.

38

maintaining.

WEIGHT LOSS!

I broke 38"! Per Molly's suggestion, I've even eaten a vegetable here and there.

Weight loss vs. Annihilation Time

My stomach is in the process of changing its official policy on alcohol, or at least carbonation. I haven't had a soda since mid-December, but beers and soda water (the stuff that goes on top of whiskey) seem to make me queasy. I had three beers over about four hours last night at the Annihilation Time show, and me no feel too hot this morning.

Who knows. Maybe I'm done drinking; we'll see if this helps me lose weight.

Weight loss vs. superbowl

I've barely eaten meat over the past two weeks, so the deer sausage I ate yesterday really packed a wallop on my stomach. Oh well.

Weight loss vs. beer

Had to do some "research" for a column about TCU kids and bars. Got way too much "information."

Oops.

Ramblin' Man

Came into some extra cash, so I ended up buying a Nano, and I went on a nice two-album walk yesterday. Of course, it was in the 60s, so it made the walk a lot more pleasant.

38" and holding. THere's a Jack Johnson song the lyrics of which insist that "losing hope is easy." While that might be true, losing weight is not easy at all, partly because of the way the human body works, and partly because laziness is a tough hill to overcome.

Aw crap

Well, anyway, I'm maintaining 38" of gut. I tried jogging sans music yesterday, and I just couldn't focus on it and gave up. Guess I'll buy an iPod nano. Of course, getting my iPod stolen was a drag anyway, but it held sentimental value to me, too. Now it's an even greater inconvenience. I have this time to exercise, but I am having a rough time doing it. Oh well. At least I haven't eaten any garbage, and I did get in a couple hours of walking when I played frisbee golf on Monday afternoon.

WEIGHT LOSS DISPATCH #1

Well, it's the New Year, and I've already lost an inch. Back to the high fiber diet, which is really just a lot of beans. I would say that my dietary staples are toasted peanut butter sandwiches andRanch Style black beans. I was doing pretty well with walking, but then someone recently stole my iPod. I know I walked just fine for 26 years or so without one, but walking deliberately to meet an end goal eventually (within the second outing) becomes a chore. I need the distraction. In any case, I'll keep you posted with my progress.

R.I.P. Bettie Page

And a bunch of chicks in Austin, L.A. and Sacramento wept...

Miss Page was 85.

My personal hell...

May include the sound of people being paged by the speakerphones.

BVOOOOO!

For ever and ever.

Seriously, even.

Dear This Serious Person I see every day,

I will do my utmost to keep any joke, remark, comment, non sequitur, jest, aside, fun or frivolity to myself. It's obvious that you think I'm a jackass, so I'll stay out of your way.

seriously,

Steve

My Draft of This Week's Last Call

So anyway, I occasionally write Last Call, the FW Weekly's nightlife column, which means I go to bars and make them sound different and presumably interesting. Since I mostly drop into dives, and dives are mostly similar, it's kind of a challenge, but it's one of my favorite things to do. Of course, About half the time, my draft gets significantly... altered, and a lot of times the spirit of my comments gets lost in translation. As such, I present to you my original draft for the column that comes out in today's paper.

LAST CALL
The Buggy Wheel

It’s official. According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, we’re in a recession. “Finally!” says I. After all, we’ve only been talking about it for a year. Now we can at long last heave a big sigh of depression and blow the head off the top of our beers. Seriously—if there is business that stays, uh, busy regardless of the economic climate, it’s the booze biz. Or the beer biz, anyway, if you happen to own the Buggy Wheel. Situated along the Jacksboro Highway where the fabled road blows through Sansom Park, the Buggy Wheel is a “beer-and-wine-bar,” where you can watch a game, shoot some pool or knock back bottles of Schlitz for a mere $1.75.

When you walk inside the Buggy Wheel, it’s a little bit like walking into a roadside bric-a-brac emporium. In other words, there’s a lot of tenuously-related junk on the walls, including a framed-and-autographed picture of the Temptations. My research team (comprised entirely by Lifters’ bassist, Cliff Wright) postulated that perhaps the Temptations photo was a gift following a performance, given the slightly elevated part of the room that appeared to be a stage. Anything’s possible after all, especially in a bar where you can ostensibly bring your toddler, at least until 5 pm (it says as much on a posted sign). Unless, of course, you want to order liquor, which is actually not possible. Well, you can order it, but you won’t get it from the Buggy Wheel.

I’d run into the phenomenon of the “beer-and-wine-bar” before in Longview, when my band played a particularly bizarre gig at a place called Benny’s. When I ordered my usual double whiskey soda, the bartender icily rasped that Benny’s was beer and wine only, but that I could go down the block, buy my own whiskey and she would sell me the soda. Obviously, I was baffled, especially when they told me I could take my drinks out to the parking lot. Everything was backwards, from the booze rules to the teenage metalcore band burning our ears from the stage (which also featured a robed, plastic skeleton identified by paper signage as “The Previous Comedian”). I just figured that Longview is in the Twilight Zone (along with Temple and every gas-pump-and-a-stoplight town along I-10), and did as the Romans. So when I made the same mistake at the Buggy Wheel, I surmised that Sansom Park exists in yet another pocket between science and superstition, especially given that its neighbor bar, The Wrangler, had the same alcohol policy.

The Buggy Wheel might inhabit the Fifth Dimension (as vast as space, as timeless as infinity and where Bud Light is inexplicably cheaper than Schlitz), but it is not without its charms. Did I mention the cheap Schlitz? Not only is it cheap, but at this bar, it is delightfully devoid of irony. And while the service was initially as cool as the beer, I chalk that up to personal gaffes: first, ordering booze when none was for sale, then attempting to open a tab when cards aren’t accepted and finally having to run down the block to an ATM, leaving Cliff to temporarily fend for himself. Once I stopped being an awkward tourist, the bartender was a little friendlier.

While the Jacksboro Highway’s days of secretive poker rooms and gangland power struggles are long gone, there are a slew of hidden dives to be found in between the used car lots and sagging apartment buildings. Stay tuned for more reports from the field, when the Last Call Team tackles The Wrangler’s Sunday evening country jam.

The Buggy Wheel
5704 Jacksboro Hwy
Fort Worth, TX 76114
(817) 378-8545

It's official

I've been up for an hour and thirteen minutes, and I have already looked at everything that is interesting on the internet.

I guess just put it in the Goodwill box with the other old toys.

So anyway

I had a bad start to the week. Had a bad dream about Jackie that really sent me in a tailspin. I don't normally put too much stock in dreams, and I didn't in this one either, but when I awakened, I felt sick to my stomach. It just made me think of a million mistakes and wrong priorities I made when we were together, and that combination made for a really dismal Tuesday.

But I'm okay now. Not great, but well, who really is? Alexander was, I guess, or so his title would suggest. King Cyrus of Persia, also. But they're long dead, so they don't really count. In any case, I'm in a better mood. I'm really glad it's Friday.

I just called the cops

I mean honestly, if you're going to scream and slap each other in an apartment complex hallway, what do you think is going to happen? That the rest of the complex can't hear you carrying on?

Steve

Maybe it's because it's the end of the day.

I feel a little better.

But I still wish I could move right away.

I wish

I could move today.

Bad Dreams Lead to Introspection, Finds Area Man

I am:

without a car

overweight

depressed

anxious

having bad dreams

not performing

learning to play "Jump in the Fire"

Spending too much time in my head

unproductive

making crappy artwork

unappreciative

frustrated

feeling so lonesome surrounded by friends*

(but jokes aside, I'm pretty lonely)

self-medicating

foolishly coiffed

getting insufficient sleep

uncertain

full of regret

embarrassed that I'm writing this in a public forum, but aware that I need to air it to someone, and that it might as well be anyone and everyone

overly nostalgic

lackluster

disappointing

disappointed

unsatisfied




Steve


*this is a NOFX lyric, proving that despite other things, I have not lost my sense of humor.

Good job, Democrats.

Now don't fuck this up. Don't make me regret my decision.

Steve