Three months from now, when asked about the success of his stay at a plush Beverly Hills rehabilitation facility, former Congressional Representative Mark Foley (R, FL) replied, "Well, I've got that alcohol problem licked. I have no desire for a single drop of booze. But that pedophilia... Now that's a tough thing to shake." He quickly added, "Did I say pedophilia? I meant pageophilia--I mean, painkillerophilia. Yes. Painkillerophilia. That's a tough addiction to shake!"
Foley later told reporters that his forced exit from politics was "a blessing in disguise," and that he planned to write a "reflective memoir," of his time spent on Capitol Hill, retiring to an as-yet undetermined location. "But probably Thailand or Viet Nam--wherever that Gary Glitter guy went," he said.
--The Robo-Pirate
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