So anyway

I turn thirty today. The big three oh. What a milestone. And how have I spent it thus far? Well, it's a funny thing--I'm grappling with a bout of insomnia right now. Earlier, I thought I'd be responsible and get the apartment ready for the week (laundry, clean the kitchen, clean the bathroom--I swear, no meth was involved) and while moving some stuff around my closet, I managed to overload the flimsy wire shelf and it tore itself out of the wall. Needless to say, this was pretty noisy, and seeing as how it was about 12:30 am at the time, I won't be surprised if I get the stinkeye from my downstairs neighbors.

So why am I still up? Well, I'd like to say that I am reflecting on what it means to turn 30, but the simple truth is that I drank a Red Bull on the way home for the grocery store at about 10 pm, and wouldn't you know it, it's kept me wide awake. Thus far, I've done the following:

• Cleaned my apartment
• Walked the dog
• Beaten Contra on Xbox Live Arcade (and I used a sum total of 72 lives-- why did Konami make their games so fucking hard?!)
• Taken a shower
• Eaten a sandwich
• Had faint hallucinations about a bug in the bedroom
• Imagined the light fixture on the ceiling fan turned into a face

It's going to be a long day. Red Bull totally puzzles me. During the week, when I drink one to stay awake on bartending nights, I still feel faded, sleepy and totally inured to them. Why in the hell did it kick in now? It's really foiling my plan.

Speaking of that, I'm supposed to be up in fifteen minutes, in time to stretch and head to the gym. See, around March, I managed to successfully drop about fifteen pounds (from 197-180ish, give or take) and I got rid of three inches off my gut (from 40 to 37). My weight loss was a slow, steady effort begun in October, and while it took six months, I felt a lot better. Of course, I cut my beer intake to almost nothing and exercised a lot more (mostly jogging), but I kept it simple and burned more than I took in. It paid off.

Of course, three months later, I've totally fallen off the wagon (okay, so really, I fell off the wagon in early April, and now have finally taken stock in the consequences), and while I've only put half an inch back on, that somehow translates to ten or twelve pounds. My goal is to break 170; I entered college at 167, and I'd like to hit that mark again. This is why I bought good groceries, and why I planned to hit the jogging track first thing in the morning. Best laid plans, etc.

Anyway, while today might end up a wash (how's that for positive thinking!), I'm committing to reaching my weight goal. I guess I should also shoot for a gut-circumference goal as well, though I'm not sure what's reasonable. If I could measure 35 1/2 around, that would be awesome. We'll see. I've learned that you can't really crash diet, and you also have to stick with the good habits once they're in place. Anyway, for the time being, I'll be posting stuff about this "journey," mostly as a means of staying accountable. Feel free to read, comment, ignore, etc.

--Steve