Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Angry and Nauseas

I am busy right now, but I am so enervated that I could probably cut my arm open and molten fire would spray out instead of blood.

It was this phrase, found on a Yahoo news post, that did it:

"Television personality and author Nicole Ritchie"

Author? Really? What did she write? Oh, this book? This "novel" about the daughter of an entertainer who gets on a reality show and becomes famous? You mean the one with the picture of herself wearing a tiara on the front cover? It looks a lot more like a thinly veiled, heavily-promoted vanity project, if you ask me. You know whose fault this is? It's yours, America, for continuing to pay attention to these vapid, inflated celebrities, who if not for being fired out of some rich woman's vagina, wouldn't get to "write" books and get them published.

Nicole, honestly, what have you had to do thus far? Grow up being friends with crappy human beings like Paris Hilton, get everything you want (which, apparently included at some point being an author), go score heroin on Sunset, never go to jail for scoring heroin, be on TV, etc. etc. etc. Hmmm... I didn't see consistent disappointment from rejection form-letters on that list. Well, fuck you, Nicole. This book is the last straw. When I think of every writer who gets his or her stories, articles and manuscripts rejected over and over again, who works a nine-to-five in order to be a writer because writers don't usually make livings off their passion, who may get to experience a divorce or a drinking problem or some other misery because of his or her drive to do what he or she loves, well I hope, just a little bit, Nicole Ritchie, that your personal hell involves having to eat every copy of that novel, after the rest of us have wiped our asses with them.

--The Robo-Pirate

3 comments:

Mikey said...

Whooooooohoooo! Right on brutha! I'm cracking up right now. Yeah, I wan't to read about her life as a priveledged junky, always having money to score shit. Probably always having it delivered to her house, never having to drag her ass down on hollywood blvd to sell it for smack!
And I agree totally that it is america's fault for allowing this shit to happen. Who cares what these people do? I just wan't them to go away, we should start a boycott, or education program for the idiots who are actually gonna buy this crap. And we need to stop the madness so we can put the paparazzi out of buziness. These fucking vultures need to go out and get a real job. They pull in something like 30 grand for a decent picture of brad 'n jen. That is too much, and it is america who is responsible for this. stop buying the rags when yer in the check out line at the grocery store. Just say no!
If I want to read about a junky, I will, and it will be written by someone like william s. burroughs.
I wonder how deep this chick gets in this book. PRobably bout as deep as my dog's puddle of piss.

Mikey said...

and another thing.....What is it with actors who think they can all of a sudden sing? Or vice a versa. These fucking hollywood types are just tryin' to bogart my mindspace, I ain't having it. Also, yes it bugs when they all of a sudden can become 'AUTHORS' ANd especially when they can't act or sing. WTF. We are hurting bad for good entertainment here.

Liz said...

Chapter 7 – Daddy Didn’t Love Me, but Heroin Did

Chapter 9 – Famous for Being an Idiot, The American Way

Chapter 12 – Loosing Weight, My Newest Fabulous Addiction

Chapter 14 – The Real Reason I Wrote This Book, Paris Has a Book and I’m Better Than Her.... Really I Am

Right on Robo!