Wednesday, December 27, 2006

NorCal, the westernmost province of Redneckistan.

The short of it: went to a bar in my hometown with another hometown expat who lives in San Francisco. Came to the conclusion, in conjunction with evidence observed yesterday, that Northern California is at times just about as country as North Texas is. Thus, for the time being, I will be referring to the place in which I grew up as South Carolodi. Or maybe Lodisiana? I dunno. Pick your favorite. Slowdi is easier to say, but it doesn't convey the same sense of jerkoffs roaring past you in jacked-up F-250s. I mean seriously, it's the same NASCAR hats, same Calvin-pissing-on-whatever stickers, same same tacky goatees. If not for the weather and the scenery, I'd swear I never left cowtown.

--The Robo-Pirate

p.s.
Oh, and also, Lodi is pronounced low-dye. Or load eye, if you prefer.

5 comments:

jen said...

Oh come on Robo... You act as if the over populated streets of the Metroplex are horrible. Or the over use of "ya'll" and "aint" makes us sound ignorant! The strange obsession with state pride maybe??? Grandma's that chew Copenhagen (is that stuff chewed?)

ANDREW M. said...

we have a lotta those same trucks and stickers and facial hair configurations around my new pad (upstate and to the left a tad.)

can't say i'm much of a fan of the impatient, dangerously fast, crazy drivers with a ridiculous sense of entitlement.

and i'm not sure if it's internet rumor or urban legend or what... but i've heard (many times) over the years that those idiotic stickers are the reason why the great bill watterson stopped drawing one of the best comic strips in history.

i doubt those clowns care, but i still would like to see a spirited game of calvinball once in a while...

Robo-Pirate said...

It had a lot to do with it. He was vehemently opposed to any kind of C&H merchandising. The awful sticker trifecta is Calvin pissing, NO FEAR and Slapaho. Predictably, I see combinations of these almost daily.

waterpolo1608 said...

that's sad. i liked calvin and hobbes.. now excuse me i have a calving pissing on texas sticker to put on my car..

amanda said...

One of Hugh Hefner's ultra-classy girlfriends (of 3) is from Lodi. Just sayin'.

I learned this by watching their reality show, which is on cable. They even took a field trip to Lodi.