Jealous Again

If you look over to the right at the list of blogs I read, you'll see a link to Dooce. Since you might not know what Dooce is, I'll explain briefly.

Dooce is a blog written by a married woman in Utah named Heather Armstrong. Way back in like 2002, she got fired from her web design job in L.A. for blogging about her co-workers. I laud her, without a shred of sarcasm, as a talented writer, and she frequently writes a phrase or line that I would cut off a toe to have thought up. Her blog is at least as funny as it is self-indulgent, but what's most compelling is that its popularity has allowed her and her husband to become self-employed. She flies all over the place speaking about women-oriented blogging, and generally has it pretty sweet.

I was hesitant to link to her, because A), it's not like she needs another link, and B), I don't always agree with what she's doing. She is bipolar or something, and she had a miserable bout of post-partum depression, and her child is difficult, and she writes about this and a lot of the time her posts are funny. But the part I find ridiculous is that she makes a living off her blog.

Now I don't find fault with that in an of itself. If I could pay my bills (or even a bill) with this blog, I would be on here boring everyone to tears five times a day. What I take issue with is that she complains (albeit humorously) about a lot of stuff. She needs her meds. Her kid is bratty. She doesn't have insurance (welcome to self-employment!). The pipes burst. Her TiVo screwed up. Blah blah blah. In other words, it's the sort of thing that happens to plenty of other people (men, not just women) who have annoying children and plumbing mishaps, but who also have to keep their day jobs, because they don't get to sit around listening to Interpol while ad revenue keeps the lights on.

If you've detected a bit of envy within the paragraphs above, consider yourself sensitive and perceptive. Like I said, I'd love to make a living off this. If traffic merited it, you can bet there would be ads for movies and bonerpills and whatever else alongside the link to Valient Thorr. I'd think you guys would understand. I would not, however, bitch and moan about everything without giving thanks to God for my fortunate new career.

You know what? Fuck it. She makes me laugh most of the time. Her kid is adorable, and I admire her husband's patience. He seems like a pretty cool guy, especially to weather his wife's meltdowns. What really pissed in my cheerios this morning was this post. It's about how she dated a guy who turned out to be gay and broke up with a different guy who turned out to be against gays. That part was funny, but the thing that irked me was her opening reference to her friend Maggie's recently published book, which apparently is a list of 100 better blog topics.

Really? You wrote a book on blog topics? Do you also watch commercials about commercials or click on links advertising free porn that link to more links advertising free porn?

This is what I think is stupid, and ultimately why I am jealously bothered by Heather Armstrong's (or at least her friend Maggie's) source of income. A 112-page list of blog ideas is not something anyone needs to buy, and shame on you for thinking someone would (as of this writing, I suspect that her inventory has already been cleared). The book's main title is No One Cares What You Had for Lunch. Well, what people care about is totally subjective, and I'll bet, Maggie, that you've probably blogged about some pretty uninteresting topics yourself . I don't care, for instance, what Heather Armstrong watched on TV last night, yet she persists in writing about it, and I persist in reading about it. In context, what you two girls are doing is making the mundane worth reading about, which I think is a better bit of advice than a list of topic suggestions. If you wanted to do that, why not teach a 9th grade remedial English class?

I'm just saying is all.

--The Robo-Pirate

p.s.
Then again, what do I know? Dooce is obviously doing something right.